Normal Show (Season One)
by SwathedManx7777
Summary: AU: This is my take on what Regular show would be like if J.G Quintel went with his other idea of a Cartoon Network TV show. By the way, I got this idea on the Regular Show wiki. Regular belongs to James Garland Quintel, not me.
1. Chapter 1

GETTING A JOB

"Dude, look at the paper," said Mordecai Quintel to his friend, Rigby Saylers. "They're offering two positions at the zoo."

"Aw, don't tell me your actually thinking of working there," says Rigby, with a disgusted look on his face. "Remember Jerry?"

"You mean Mr. Stuff?" Mordecai asked.

"No! I mean my dad's friend's cousin. He said working at the zoo was like high school to him."

"Dude, he loved high school." Mordecai said.

"Oh yeah. But seriously dude, the zoo? Cleaning after those humans? Heck, the NAME isn't even original. Its name is "Zoo."

"Rigby, I think you forgot that you get paid when you have a job, because EVERY time I give out a suggestion, it's either 'Too boring' or 'Too difficult' or even that time when I mentioned work you passed out."

"Okay, you know what? Fine. Let's go to the zoo, look the manager in the face and say 'We want to be paid.'"

**Later…**

"Um, excuse me?" the zoo manager, a gumball machine, asked.

"That's right," says Rigby, "We want to be paid, we want a job."

Mordecai punched Rigby in the arm and said "What he meant was we would like to apply for a job here."

"Hmmmm, okay." The gumball machine said. "Welcome to the Zoo, my name is Benson. Who are you guys?"

"I'm Mordecai, and that striped tail thing is Rigby." Mordecai replied.

"Hey!" Rigby yelled. "Now that I think about it, I could go for a gumba- OW!" Mordecai punched him in the arm.

"Okaaayyy….., you start tomorrow." Benson said. I'll get your uniforms, with your name stitched on them, and you will meet the rest of the crew." Benson pushed a button and said "Pops, Muscle Man, Skips, and High Five Ghost, report to my office."

Before long, all four workers arrived. Rigby was trying not to laugh, as you could tell he knew how to make fun of everyone. Mordecai punched his arm.

"Here are Mordecai and Rigby," Benson said. "Put them through the 'initiation'

The four zoo workers smiled, and Mordecai knew they were screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

Mordecai didn't know what was happening, but he knew it was bad.

"Hold on a minute, how old are you guys?" Benson asked.

"21 and counting." Mordecai replied.

"Ok, I would like you to…clean out that humans den."  
Mordecai and Rigby gaped in horror, as the human Benson was pointing at was almost as fat as Muscle Man.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" The park crew laughed. "Did you honestly believe me?" Benson asked hysterically. "That is NOT a job for a newbie."

Mordecai and Rigby were relived. But they knew that was only part one in the "initiation".

"Your work begins tomorrow." Benson said

Mordecai wanted to quit, but this was his second job to last at least five minutes. His other applications were always ruined by Rigby. In fact, Rigby ruined his first job because Mordecai worked at a Gas Station, and Rigby thought that meant they could get free stuff. Mordecai told him no, so they got into an argument. All the customers were saying "Fight, Fight, Fight!" Then his boss came out, told everybody to leave, and fired Mordecai. Rigby didn't mind, but Mordecai wanted to throw Rigby out of a window. To this day Mordecai still holds a grudge against Rigby, and often says Rigby is lucky to still have him as a friend.


	3. Chapter 3

They both went to their apartment.

"Good night, dude." Mordecai said

"Good night." Rigby replied.

Both went to their bedrooms.

The next morning, at 6:30 A.M, they went to the zoo gate.

"Aw, we don't have keys." Rigby said

"I know," Mordecai began, "but the schedule he gave us clearly states that we need to be here by 6:30 on Wednesday."

"Well," Rigby begun "Guess we need to jump the fence, eh?" Then he turned around to find Mordecai climbing the fence.

"Mordo, I was kidding!" Rigby said

"I know!" Mordecai replied.

"Dude, this is a bad idea, I would know!"

"So what? I'm not going to be late on the first day!

Mordecai jumped over the fence, and landed on, a cord?

Immediately, an alarm went off, the humans went bonkers, and police cars swooped in.

All Mordecai could say was, "Uh, oh."

A policeman unlocked the gate and pinned Mordecai to the ground. Another did the same with Rigby, and they brought them to their cars.

"Please, this is a mistake!" Mordecai said. "I wasn't part of this!" Rigby then said.

"Shudup and hope you won't be executed!" A police officer said.

THAT did it. Rigby started freaking out, and a policeman had to knock him out with his baton.

**Later…**

Mordecai and (asleep) Rigby were put in an interrogation room. One of the cops poured cold water on Rigby and he immediately woke up.

"Were am I?" Rigby asked.

"Jail." Said a policeman. "Start talking."

"Okay," Mordecai explained everything.

"If this is all true, why aren't you guys wearing your uniform?" A policeman asked.

"Oh, no, he didn't give us our uniforms yesterday!" Rigby said.

Then, there was laughing. Then the park crew came in.

The Mordecai and Rigby realized everything: The lack of keys and uniform, the schedule saying that specific time, and, finally, the "initiation".

"You guys are so gullible!"

That's all he said before they left, and Mordecai and Rigby were realized.

"Dude," Mordecai begun. "let's get them back."

**Hey, everyone. Now, I know you're all thinking, "Man, his chapters are short!" Well I know. This chapter was supposed to be part of the 2****nd**** chapter, but I messed up and stuff. I'll try to make "episodes" one chapter from now on. But thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time**


	4. Chapter 4

New game

Mordecai and Rigby were in the booths at the gate. Business was good today, at least until a boy with a handheld game system came.

Rigby caught sight of it and tried to identify it, the he realized, it was the new portable version of the game console they have, the CoolBro800

"Dude, did you see that kid with that system?!" Rigby asked.

"Yeah, why is it important?" Mordecai replied/asked.

"It was the CoolBro799! It just came out today!"

Mordecai's eyes widened and they both ran to Benson's office.

"Benson, Benson!" They both yelled as they shoved past people. Finally, they reached Benson's office, panting and sweating.

"We really have to work out." Mordecai said.

"No, it's not that, it's just that the zoo is about a mile long!" Rigby replied.

They opened the door, reviling Benson.

"What do you guys want?" Benson asked.

"Extra work." Mordecai replied.

"Aw what?" Rigby begun. "I thought we were going to bribe him to give us money-OW!"

Mordecai hit him, but then realized something.

"Dude, we don't even know much this thing costs! Sorry for bothering you Benson."

"The CoolBro799 costs $250.00!" Said an ad.

"Can we work for $500?" Mordecai asked.

"Sure, if you'll work overtime." Benson said

"UGH!" They both said

On Saturday and Sunday, they came in, swept the walkways, dusted the little stores, Mopped in them, worked at the booths 6 hours a day, cleaned, fed, fed, fed, fed, and fed the humans.

They finally got up to $469, and Rigby was ready to quit.

"No dude! We have to get this game console. Think about the awesome things we can do with it!"

"Okay, okay."

They worked for hours until they got the money.

They walked over to the game store, right as they were listening to a critic say some awful things about the CoolBro799.

"Yeah, I can't believe I asked my mom to by this junk!" Said the boy they saw playing at the gate a few days ago.

"Well, that's only two guy's opinions, right?" Rigby asked.

"Ooo! There's some sample ones over there!" Mordecai said.

Yep, the handheld game was awful.

Mordecai and Rigby were pretty mad, until they caught eyes on a touch screen phone, with apps and all that.

"Let's get that!" Rigby said.

"Yeah!" Mordecai replied.

**So how was that? This was much better than 3 chapters being one episode. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5: Ladies Man

Ladies' Man

Mordecai and Rigby were feeding the animals.

"Aw, sick!" Rigby exclaimed

"Yeah! I mean, would it kill them to learn how to use toilet paper?!" Mordecai said.

"MORDECAI AND RIGBY! STOP LOOKING AT THE ANIMAL AND FINISH THE JOB!" Yelled Benson.

"Ugh, if you say it like that-OW!"

Mordecai punched Rigby and said, "You should honestly stop asking to get punched."

"Maybe I would if you weren't such a-OWW!"

Mordecai punched Rigby again.

They finished the job and went on an unknown break to the StarDollars (**See what I did there?)** and ordered two large coffees. While they enjoyed the smell of coffee in the air, Mordecai caught his eyes on two girls that looked extremely familiar. Mordecai asked Rigby asked if they were familiar to him.

"Who?" Rigby asked.

"The cardinal and the mole." Mordecai replied.

"Cardinal and mo- dude! I think its Margaret and Eileen! Wait a minute… Margaret was your High school crush!"

Mordecai blushed a bit and said "Well it happens to everybody, like you and Eileen!"

"STOP TALKING!" Rigby said.

Mordecai decided to go over there and greet them.

"Um, excuse me, are your names Margaret and Eileen?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?" She asked "Don't you remember me? Mordecai?" Mordecai asked.

"Oh, yeah!" Margaret exclaimed.

"Hey, where's Rigby?" Eileen asked

"Over there" Mordecai replied.

"So, what are you doing here?" Mordecai asked.

"Eileen and I were applying for a job here," see begun. "I got an apartment the other day and I need to pay the rent."

"Oh." Mordecai said. "So you need a little extra money? I'm sure-"

"Oh, no thanks. I'm sure the pay here will be good enough."

"So, I wonder what Rigby and Eileen are talking about." Mordecai wondered. Then, Rigby came to Mordecai and said

"Mordecai, we should probably get back to work."

"Wait, this is coming from YOUR mouth, Rigby." Mordecai said, surprised.

"Hey, I love getting money."

"Okay let's go." Mordecai said.

"Hey, wait! Eileen and I are going to a Fist Pump concert, and we are wondering if you could come." She opened her purse to reveal two tickets. "Here. These were for two other friends, but they couldn't make it.

"Um, thanks." They both said. "Bye."

As they were walking Mordecai tripped, dropped the tickets, and they flew away.

"Aw, shoot!" Mordecai said.

The tickets land near two kids, who said, "Oohh! Fist Pump tickets!" One kid grabbed them and they both ran off.

"Awesome move, drill bit!" Rigby exclaimed.

"I'm sure the tickets didn't cost much. I mean, Fist Pump was rated as one of the bottom 50 bands in the 90s."

Just in, Benson came in via a walkie talkie in Mordecai's uniform pocket.

"MORDECAI AND RIGBY! GET BACK TO WORK! YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR 2 HOURS!"

"Okay, Okay, the concert is tomorrow night at Slammers, so that gives us about 29 hours to get tickets." Mordecai said.

"But we don't know how much they cost!" Rigby said.

"I'll look it up on my phone." Mordecai said. After a few seconds, his face went white.

"How much do they cost?" Rigby asked.

"60 dollars dude."

"Okay, after work, let's get home and buy them. Today's pay day anyway."

So after work, the two went home, because they had the idea of getting tickets online.

"All these sites are either paying for two times the price or the same price as the ones the girls bought." Mordecai said, because he obviously has more math smarts than Rigby.

"Wait, this guy is selling tickets for 8 bucks!" Rigby pointed out.

"I don't know… okay." Mordecai said uneasily.

The next day, the duo arrived with Margaret and Eileen waiting.

"Hey." Mordecai said.

"Hi. Let's get in there!"

The girls submitted their tickets, while the boys, well… the cashier examined their tickets.

"These are a counterfeit." The cashier said.

Then, two guards put them in a headlock.

"What are you talking about?" Margaret asked. "I'm the one who got them!" Then, the guards dropped Mordecai and Rigby and one said "Miss, we'll have to place you under arrest for counterfeit tickets."

"What? No!" Margaret said.

"Wait!" Mordecai yelled "The ones she got us were real, but then we lost them, and we tried to buy them on the internet for 8 bucks. We're sorry."

"It's okay. We were never a big fan of Fist Pump. Eileen and I just wanted to go to our first concert. But the $240 dollars spent didn't mean anything.

Mordecai knew she was being sarcastic about the money spent, but gave her the 120 bucks they owed. Then Margaret asked if she was still under arrest. They said no.

So Margaret used the 120 bucks to buy two more tickets.

"Wait, what?" Mordo and Rigs said, but didn't argue.

They went inside Slammers, only to walk out 15 minutes later because their music was horrible.

**Tired…don't feel like making an outro…. 812 words, see ya.**


End file.
